The library is open...
Emma Watson
Emma Watson
Is Emma Watson okay? Apparently she forgot about her movie
premiere. She looks like she had a busy day of stomping grapes at a vineyard
where she drank a bit too much of her hard work. She obviously woke up, wrapped
the sheet around her, threw on some pants and heels, and slicked her greasy
hair to the side. That shit may be okay at Hogwarts, but it certainly is not
okay on a boat full of mating animals with Russell Crowe. Get it together girl!
Vanessa Hudgens
Vanessa, you must need to get laid, girl. Your crotch is
obviously famished; it’s eating your shorts! We all go through some dry spells,
but you probably won’t find a respectable man dressed like that. A faded
t-shirt ripped off the back of a passed out, stoned hippie and an adult diaper
is just not a turn on… well… unless you’re attracted to an incontinent Willie
Nelson.
Kate Middleton
Only Kate Middleton could pull off this color. It looks like
it was made out of a recycled sofa from my great grandmother’s living room, but she still looks fabulous. I
don’t even mind that the hat is a slightly different color than the dress. The
one misstep is the barnacle attached to her bosom. I would expect that to
happen to someone the Queen’s age or Joan Rivers’s age, not a spry young thing
like Kate.
No comments:
Post a Comment