Thursday, March 27, 2014

Fashion Reads 3/27


The library is open…

Shakira

Shakira, you should have left this look in your closet along with your shewolf… Or perhaps you skinned the shewolf to make the coat you’re wearing. The flapping fringe is not enough, however, to distract from your fishnets and dominatrix boots. If I were playing Starlet or Streetwalker with the Joan Rivers, I would definitely label you a “streetwalker”. Now, E! has called this a “bathing suit”, but I swear in this photo it looks like an extremely short skirt or dress. There seems to be a shadow on her inner thigh that would suggest this. But I sincerely hope that E! is right here because if this were a dress or skirt, Shakira would have to be arrested for indecent exposure. Shakira’s constant saving grace is her hair. Whether it’s extensions or au naturel, her hair always looks amazing. But as we can see in this look, it’s not always enough to save her.

Lindsay Lohan

 Ok, I hate to admit this, but Lindsay doesn’t look tragic in this photo. What is going on with this world that I can’t even count on Lindsay Lohan to look like a train-wreck? No really… That’s not rhetorical… I want an answer… I will say that I don’t like the fact that she stole Robin Hood’s boots. Maybe this is retribution? I know he steals from the rich and gives to the poor, but I don’t think anyone would want what Lindsay has to steal. I don’t care for the jacket, but it goes with the overall casual look, so I can overlook it. However, I will not overlook the unnatural color of her hair. That is most definitely not a color found anywhere in nature. Lindsay is a natural ginger; so if she’s going to dye her hair, why not pick a different and exciting color? The last thing I want to ask is a strange question… Is it just me or does Lindsay’s face seem oddly reminiscent of Kyle Richards? That’s not an insult. I think Kyle Richards is beautiful, but I never saw a similarity before… Strange… Maybe I’m just watching too much Real Housewives (as if that could ever happen).



Sorry I only did two today, but I time seems to be an issue this week. You can yell at me in the comments.

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