The library is open…
Angelina Jolie
I didn’t read the title of the page before looking at the
picture, and immediately I thought of trash bags or latex. Surely Angelina
would not allow herself to be dressed by a Project Runway unconventional
challenge for a red carpet event associated with this big blockbuster film.
Subway is obviously a sponsor as you can see their name on the step-and-repeat
behind her. Maybe she took a gown from their new line; at least she didn’t
choose the one made completely of lettuce. I also have to ask about the huge,
for lack of a better word, puff in the front… Is that absolutely necessary? Is
her assistant hiding under there? Do you know how many black condoms could have
been made with that extra fabric? I guess Angelina doesn’t care about the
spread of venereal disease…
Vanessa Hudgens
When I first looked at the picture, I thought it was a
simple bohemian-style dress. Then I scrolled down, and my mouth started sagging
as much as her “jumper” (?). What is that?! It looks like she’s wearing a
diaper full of “surprises” underneath that…thing. I…I just…I can’t. She has so
messed me up that I am typing in stream of consciousness… And notice that she
is covering her face and holding her credit card… She either just paid for lip
injections at the plastic surgeon or she’s hiding a herpes outbreak (I seem to
have STI’s on the brain today. Sorry.).
Pamela Anderson
Oh my! Pamela is looking a fresh fu… um… She seems to be
looking quite disheveled. (I had to suppress my vulgar first thought and keep
it classy… I can hear you all thinking, “That’s a first,” and in reply I say,
“Rude.”) But really, she looks like she was getting busy with someone and
forgot to check herself in the mirror afterward. Her hair is an absolute wreck,
her dress is coming off at the shoulder, and she’s holding up the bottom of the
dress so she can air-dry. But it is Pamela Anderson; what do I expect?
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