You may have noticed that I did not have a post yesterday.
Other aspects of life sometimes get in the way. Sorry I couldn’t bring you your
daily dose of sunshine. Let’s take a trip to the library, and see whom we can
read today.
The library is open…
Chrissy Teigen
What fresh hell is this? Why can we see, as E! aptly calls
them, Chrissy’s “granny panties”? I have a problem with the fact that the
bottom is shear, but if you’re going to go for it, go all the way. Wear a thong
or something sexy. I’m sure some of you are thinking, if she had done that, I
would have read her for being slutty. And you’re probably right. I’m never
satisfied, but that’s the fun of it… And what’s with that top? It looks like a
kid in pre-school made it. I have never sewn before, and I probably could have
made something better. I guess now that she’s married she thinks she doesn’t
have to try to look good anymore.
Naomi Campbell
I realize I am putting my life on the line here. If I die
due to blunt force trauma from a cell phone, you know whom to look for… Perhaps
she was purposely being ironic? She’s at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards,
and she is looking glamour-less. She’s reminding me of Josephine Baker… if
Josephine Baker were not famous and were performing on the street corner for
pocket change… My biggest issue with this is the fringe stringy things that are
holding the top and the bottom together. It’s making her look like a busted
sausage, like the dress literally could not hold her in it and is starting to
fray. I’m sure that’s what every supermodel strives to look like…
Blake Lively
Okay… I’m getting it… I typically do not like mustard yellow
on anything but a hamburger, but surprisingly, I think it goes very well with
Blake’s skin tone. And she really got lucky with this photograph. I imagine in
others the flash would have changed the look of her skin, and the color of the
dress would no longer work… Overall, I think it’s a good look, but I have two
problems with it. First of all, it’s wrinkled. This fabric is obviously prone
to wrinkling. I realize that when a woman sits down, like in the car on the way
to an event, her dress may wrinkle. The problem is that this dress is so simple
that it is super noticeable. The only thing more distracting, which leads me to
my second problem with this dress, is the vagina on her chest. Why do people
not understand that these keyhole cutouts on the chest will take on the
appearance of a vagina if the woman wearing the dress or shirt has any
semblance of a bust at all? It’s okay if the fabric is one that moves. The
shape will change as the fabric and body move, but in patent leather that
vagina is here to stay and make you uncomfortable.
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